07/12/2012

On Tuesday, 07/10/2012, our Birth Mother and Father as well as their niece "Lala," came to visit the girls. This was the first time we had seen them since they left the hospital. I don't even think they visited the gitls while they were in the hospital, they just saw pictures of the girls.

Nate had me accompany the birth family since the hospital only allows 2 visitors per baby. I took the camera and showed them the way to the nursery. As we were approaching the doors, my mind was racing a million miles a minute, will they be okay? will they be happy or sad? will they want to hold them? will they let me take pictures? And trust me, there were many more thoughts.

When got in there our Birth Mother was asking a lot of questions about their health and well-being. Her niece would interpret the questions in English so that I could respond. I asked her if she wanted to hold one or both of them but she said she didn't want to wake them.

The Birth Father was shy and silent. He walked around, opening their little windows and touching their precious little heads. They did let me take pictures. I was happy about that because I want our girls to have pictures of their Birth Parents and I want them to know that they were given to us with love because these Birth Parents truly do love them. They are the ones who gave life to these beautiful girls.

As I was taking pictures I noticed the Birth Father had tears coming out of his eyes. He readily left the nursery and went out to the waiting room. I felt awful. I cannot imagine the loss he is feeling inside. I cannot begin to express my sorrow for this family.

 I almost feel guilty for feeling so happy at times. I know they are choosing this and I know it is best for the girls but my heart cannot but ache for their loss. Life is intersting and is hard at times but I look at  those little faces and I know they are meant to be with us. We couldn't be more grateful for such perfect beautiful girls. We owe so much to our birth parents.